How I have Come to Know God I-III

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How I have Come to Know God I-III

by Pastor Eric H.H. Chang, September, 1997

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This testimony was given at a Christian gathering held in Melbourne, Australia, on November 10, 1985. It was later published in Oasis, a Christian newsletter, in three installments. This reprint retains the same three-part division. (You have the option of downloading this sharing)

Because some of you have asked me about my experience in the Lord, I take this opportunity to share with you my testimony. This is somewhat unusual because at the pulpit I would usually expound the word of God. Today I will talk about two aspects of my Christian life: how I became a Christian and how I have come to serve the Lord. As I will explain shortly, these are two inseparable aspects of my Christian life.

While you are listening to my testimony, I hope that your attention will be fixed on what God has done. In giving a testimony, my fear is that the attention may be focused on the person rather than on the Lord Himself. If you are merely fascinated with the experiences in themselves, that would be to miss the point. But if what God has done in my life moves you to say to yourself, "If God can do that for him, He can also do it for me," then you are listening to my testimony in the right way.

Many people, after reading of Paul's experiences in the Bible, say to themselves, "Only great men like the apostle Paul can experience the Lord so abundantly. God would never do for me what He did for Paul." If that were so, it would be pointless to read the Bible because none of it would apply to us directly. The Bible would be nothing more than a compilation of historical accounts of great men like Paul and Elijah. But James says that "Elijah was a man with a nature like ours" (James 5:17). Yet this same Elijah was one of the greatest prophets. The Lord answered his prayer on Mount Carmel by sending down fire from heaven to consume the sacrifice (1 Kings 18:38). Has it ever occurred to you that the Lord might want you to do the same? After all, Elijah was a man with a nature like ours.

Long before that incident on Mount Carmel, Elijah had already declared that there was to be no rain in Israel for a few years (1 Kings 17:1). This was an act of judgment against Israel for rebelling against the Lord. Sure enough God held back the rain for three and a half years until that memorable day on Mount Carmel when Elijah prayed for rain to come down (1 Kings 18:1,45). God used one man—a man who shared our nature and even our weaknesses—to bring Israel back to Himself. If you pray as Elijah did, God can use you just as powerfully. In this generation, we desperately need people who know how to walk with God and through whom God can do mighty things.

My Family Background
Let me start with my family background. My grandfather on my father's side lived in Fujian. Though he came from a poor family, he managed to put himself through university (which was a great achievement in China in those days). He could have lived in prosperity, but he forsook everything to preach the gospel and became the minister of a Presbyterian church. Because ministers were paid meagrely in those days, his three sons and one daughter grew up in relative poverty.

All his three sons were brilliant academically, but the most outstanding was my father, who was also the eldest. Although my father was brought up in a Christian home, he grew up as a non-Christian with no obvious interest in spiritual things. He got tired of living in poverty and decided to pursue a better life. He was admitted to Peking University without examination because his average mark was around 97%. When he graduated from Peking University, he broke the university record for the highest average. Then he was sent to Harvard University in the United States to do his Master's degree, which he completed in eight or ten months. He felt that Harvard was not as good as some of the European schools, so he went to Europe to do his doctorate.

He had a phenomenal memory and an incredible talent in languages. He learned languages for the sheer fun of it. He studied French for only three months but spoke it so fluently that many people thought he had studied at a university in France (he did, but only for a short time, at the Sorbonne in Paris). He decided to learn German as well, so he went to Heidelberg University for three months. At the end of the three months, he spoke good German. He became increasingly proud and confident of his abilities. Wherever he studied, whether at Harvard or in Europe, he received one scholarship after another. In fact he received so much scholarship money that he could even support his two younger brothers through university and still have enough to travel first-class to America and other parts of Europe. He acquired a taste for the good and comfortable life.

That was my family background. My father's intellectual brilliance fostered an intellectual atmosphere for me, his only child, to grow up in. He was a man who loved an intellectual challenge, but he was also a man who loved his country very much. His dream was to pull China out of the middle ages and to make it a glorious, modern nation—a new China! He studied economics because he felt that the reconstruction of China must first start with the economy and only afterwards with the military. He believed that a strong economic infrastructure was necessary for building a powerful and scientifically advanced nation. There were foreign soldiers everywhere...I saw a British soldier kicking and punching a Chinese tailor.

My father made me very patriotic as well. He would always talk to me about China's glorious past. He was the one who sowed the seeds of anti-imperialism and anti-colonialism in my heart. He was incensed that foreign nations took advantage of China's weakness to plunder her, to trample her, and to humiliate her with unequal treaties. So I grew up feeling very hostile towards Westerners. My anti-Western sentiments were intensified by the fact that I grew up in Shanghai, a city partitioned into various foreign settlements: the French concession, the British concession, the Japanese concession, and so on. You have probably seen a photograph of the sign which says, "No dogs or Chinese allowed." There were foreign soldiers everywhere. One time I saw a British soldier kicking and punching a Chinese tailor. I said in my heart, "You guys just wait. I'll teach you a lesson one of these days!"

My Ambition
I shared my father's love for the country but my ambition was different from his. He emphasized building a strong economy but I emphasized building a strong military. I spent all my pocket money on books on military science. I studied a lot and was fascinated with Zhu Ge Liang in The Tales of The Three Kingdoms.

I learned martial arts because I felt it was important to set an example by building a strong body. I became very muscular through intensive training in judo and boxing. I played all kinds of sports to train my body. To acquire leadership skills, I single-handedly organized and trained up a baseball team. Knowing nothing about baseball, I got hold of a book on baseball and taught myself the techniques of the sport. Then I trained up some guys who also knew nothing about baseball. Within two years we were playing in the "A" division and challenging the best teams in Shanghai. What was our secret? Dedication and team spirit.

I trained myself not only physically and mentally but also in spiritual things. I noticed that Zhu Ge Liang and other ancient Chinese heroes were well versed in astrology. They could study the stars and come up with many amazing predictions. So I decided to study the stars. One time I picked up a book on astrology which predicted that the United States will be involved in a major war at the end of 1939. Then I looked at the year of publication—1935! I was so impressed with its accuracy that I studied the book and learned a lot about astrology to the extent that I could look at a person's face and tell him in which month he was born. People were quite amazed at my ability to tell things about people and events. I know first-hand that astrology works to some extent. Certainly there are many charlatans who defraud people with their phoney skills in astrology, but there are others who really know something about it. (Of course I dropped this whole business when I became a Christian because the Bible warns us not to dabble with spiritism and related things.)

I felt I was sleeping too much, so I cut down on my sleep to spend more time on military science. You can see what kind of a person I was—ambitious, determined, disciplined. With my intellectual training, physical training, and knowledge of astrology, I was preparing myself to fulfill my ambition.

My Anti-Christian Sentiments
But I was becoming more and more anti-Christian, partly because of what my father had told me about foreigners in China. He told me that many of the missionaries in China were in fact spies dispatched to various parts of China under the guise of missionary work, in order to feed information back to their home countries about China's military and economic situation.

I harboured anti-Christian feelings even in my primary school days. My parents put me in a Catholic primary school not because they were religious people but because the Catholic schools in Shanghai had a very high academic standard. In school I was totally put off by the Catholics. For the most part, the priests behaved repulsively. I saw nothing Christian about them. They were cold, unloving, and not the least interested in the welfare of the students. Life in the Catholic boarding school was like staying in a prison. It had high walls and thick bars across every window. Twice I escaped from the school. Everything was under authoritarian control. We had to line up and march together all the time, whether it was to class, or to the dining hall, or to our sleeping quarters. My anti-Christian feelings made it hard for me to believe in God. I became more and more anti-Christian, and it went on like this until the Communists came.

The War Years
During the war, my father was a high-ranking government official with many administrative duties in Nanjing. His administrative centre in Nanjing was a kingdom in its own right. It was guarded by its own soldiers, and had city walls and power generators. My father had several armies under him, with two generals in command of the armies. (One of them, the famous Sun Li Ren, later became the chief-of-staff in Taiwan.) I was brought up in an atmosphere where I enjoyed almost unlimited power under the Nationalists. Though I was just a teenager, the guards would salute me whenever I walked by, and government officials would greet me. If I wanted to travel from Shanghai to Nanjing, high-ranking officials would come to our home in Shanghai and take me to the train station in the official limousine. Upon my arrival at Nanjing, another group of officials would escort me to my father's office. The privilege and power that I enjoyed became a bad influence on a young person like me.

The war intensified. The Nationalists were losing one battle after another to the Communists who were advancing south. My father had to decide whether to fight or to withdraw. Meanwhile he became very disgusted with the widespread corruption among the Nationalists. Many Nationalist armies were semi-independent and not subject to the control of the central government. This opened the way to great abuses. My father was fed up with the corruption that was rampant in China; his stand against corruption got him into disputes with many of his fellow government officials. When his mentor Wang Yun Wu, then the acting Prime Minister, resigned, my father took the chance to resign en bloc with several other officials. He retired from government just shortly before the Communists reached Shanghai.

The Nationalists were fleeing Shanghai when the Communists came, but my father refused to leave. His friends were warning him that even minor officials such as city mayors were being executed, but my father said, "My record is blameless. I have done nothing against my country. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I have fought the Japanese. I have served my country. Let the Communists shoot me if they want to, but they would have to tell me what is their charge against me." Sure enough, when the Communists came into Shanghai, they never bothered us. Everyday they were executing people but they left us in peace because the Communist headquarters had received a good report about my father from their spies. They found his record clean; he had done nothing that could be construed as hostile to his own country or even to the Communists.

They later tried to get my father to serve in the Communist government, but he refused to work with them, saying, "Loyalty is our Chinese principle. After serving one government I cannot serve another." He said this partly as an excuse. Later they invited him to teach at Peking University but again he declined. He decided, however, to stay in China because he wanted to see with his own eyes how the Communists will build this new China. When he finally decided to get out of China, they did not allow him to leave. So the whole family was trapped in China. He escaped out of China in 1953. Shortly before that, my mother left China due to poor health. So I was left alone in China with no money and possessions. What had happened to my dream of building a new and powerful China?

Life Under the Communists
I had to decide what to do. The Communists had gained control of China, and everyday we were being subjected to political indoctrination. Political meetings were held daily from morning to evening, and soon I got very tired of them. What was I going to do with the rest of my life? One possibility was to side with the Communists and go all out with them. I could join the army and rise through the Communist ranks (which should not be too difficult because, as a senior middle-school student, I could start as an officer in the army straightaway). This may alllow me to accomplish something through the Communist army.

But I refused to pretend. Unless one truly believes in Communism, one cannot be a true Communist. I felt, however, that I should at least give Communism a chance to convince me. So I started to read Communist books on dialectical materialism as well as books on the history of the Communist party. Having some knowledge of military science, I found the history of the Communist party very fascinating because it revealed some of Chairman Mao's brilliant military stratagems.

But studying Communist literature did not make me a Communist. On the contrary, I came to the conclusion that dialectical materialism is a stupid and illogical doctrine. Instead of making me more pro-Communist, dialectical materialism made me more anti-Communist. (Looking back, I would now say that dialectical materialism has probably helped me to become a Christian later on.) I could tell from the classroom debates that even some of the Communist Youth League members did not agree with it. One time somebody asked a party member about the origin of life, and he replied, "That's easy, life comes from non-life!" I remembered that even the pro-Communist students felt uncomfortable with the answer because the chances of that happening are so remote. It actually takes more faith to believe that life came from non-life than to believe that life was created. But I was not too concerned with these issues. I was only concerned with what to do next. I finally decided to keep to my original ambition. One possibility was to get out of China and organize a third force among the overseas Chinese (most of whom were neither Communists nor Nationalists) and then return to China. I was only concerned with what to do next. One possibility was to get out of China and organize a third force.

Part Two

My Attempt to Escape from China
A few of us began to hold secret meetings to discuss ways of getting out of China. We decided that two persons (I being one of them) would go south to find a way out of China, and then inform the others of the escape route.

My partner and I did something daring and foolhardy. We boarded a train to Guangzhou, and there we tried to look for a guide who, for money, would show us a path for crossing the border. But we could not find one. In fact many guides were caught by Communist soldiers disguised as refugees, and were executed as a public warning. So we decided to go to Shenzhen without a guide and to cross the border during the night, knowing well that we were risking our lives. Though we were not religious, I felt something very strange on the night before we left for Shenzhen. My sixth sense told me that we were heading for trouble. My partner also felt the same thing. We were not sure how seriously we were to take this premonition. I was aware from ancient records that spiritual perception is important in military warfare because man has a spirit with the potential to sense spiritual things. (The Bible also says that man has a spirit.) But we didn't understand this principle very well and dismissed the whole matter as a funny feeling. Unfortunately for me, I was carrying a hunting knife.

The next day we set out for Shenzhen. When the train arrived there, we knew that our fate was sealed. Shenzhen was everywhere surrounded by barbed wires and guarded by soldiers. The passengers disembarked and started taking out their passes. We tried to follow the crowd that was heading towards Hong Kong. Most of them had passes for Hong Kong, but we did not. So we left the crowd and took the path going towards a village. We had gone only a short distance when we saw, in front of us, a man and a little boy surrounded by three or four soldiers checking their papers. We tried to slip pass the soldiers in the midst of their busyness, but one of them saw us and called us back. When we could not produce our passes, they started frisking us. Unfortunately for me, I was carrying a hunting knife in case I needed it to kill someone (for self-defence or, if necessary, to dispatch someone in order to cross the border). He held the menacing-looking stainless steel knife to my face and asked me what it was for. I told him it was for cutting watermelons! Obviously he didn't believe my story. We were arrested and marched off to prison together with the man and the little boy.

The jail was a small house surrounded by one heavy barricade after another. As we were approaching the prison, I was studying every detail of the surroundings in order to plan an escape. From afar I could already see the faces of people peeking out from behind the thick bars. Soldiers were positioned everywhere. From the way they moved and handled their guns, I could tell they were well-trained veterans. We were locked inside the prison compound, and there we waited and waited for the officer-in-command to decide what to do with us. The hours dragged on like eternity. Some prisoners were whispering among themselves, saying that we were likely to be shot.

My Encounter with God
When a person is confronted with death, it makes him wise and sensitive to spiritual things. I sat there thinking to myself, "Though I'm still very young, this looks like the end of the road for me. All my dreams, all my ambitions, all my hopes are finished. My parents won't even know what has happened to me." I thought to myself, "What is life all about? What are we living for?" I was getting a bit desperate. Then I told myself, "Well, I'm not going to sit idle! If I'm going to die, I'll die fighting! I'll take a few soldiers with me before they shoot me dead!" So I began to study the movements of one soldier to see how I could snatch the gun from him.

Suddenly a bird flew over my head. I looked up into the blue sky and wondered if there was a God up there. Does God really exist? Many undoubtedly believe in God for emotional reasons, but what if there was really a God? If so, I have made the biggest miscalculation of my life. How can I know whether God exists or not? Well, here is my chance to see if He can save me or not.

I knew I had no claim on God; I was not even a Christian. I used to think that Christians were weak and foolish. A church elder once talked to me about Christianity, and I had a delightful time demolishing his arguments. His inability to defend his case was, to me, a confirmation of my belief that Christians are emotionally and intellectually weak. It also proved to me that God does not exist. But I was mistaken. The elder's failure to defend his case did not mean that there was no case to defend. I realized that it was I, not the elder, who was the fool after all. In the end, what had my pride and self-confidence accomplished for me? Here I was sitting on this stone, waiting for my life to come to a humiliating end.

I looked up and wondered how a person could come to know God. But I felt that God wouldn't even talk to me because of the way I mocked the Christians. Perhaps I shouldn't even try to pray. But I also came to the conclusion that the only way to know a person is to talk to him. This principle of life applies to man; surely it must apply to God. When you talk to God and God talks to you, you have come to know Him. So I said to myself, "I've got to start somewhere. If God exists, presumably He would answer me when I talk to Him."

"O God, if You are the true and living God, I come before You and ask You to take me out of prison." I was knocking on heaven's door. I didn't even know how to pray. But knowing that I had to be honest with God, I prayed, "O God, if You are there, if You are the living God, if You are real, if You truly exist, I come now before You asking You to take me out of prison. If You don't save me, I might be dead by tomorrow. Yes, I'm ashamed that I have to call on You while I'm in a mess. I also know that I can't be saved on my own terms. Therefore, if You will take me out of prison and save my life, I will know that You are the living God, and I will serve You and live for You all the days of my life." I felt that if God did exist, it must be wonderful to know Him and to serve Him. Now you can see why I said at the beginning of my testimony that my becoming a Christian is inseparable from my serving God. The moment I came to God, I had already pledged to serve Him the rest of my life.

After that prayer, I sat down not knowing what to expect. Then something happened. I sensed heaven opening. I was standing in the presence of God! Though I was not seeking any experiences, I knew God was there all around me. In Zech.2:5 the Lord says, "I will be a wall of fire around her, and I will be the glory in her midst." That was exactly my experience even though I was unaware of this verse at that time. There was such joy in my heart that I thought I was going crazy. I was so ecstatic that I wanted to jump up and down. I had never felt anything like this; it was like getting drunk.

I can understand the feeling at Pentecost. The apostles were filled with so much joy that the other people thought they were drunk. My face must have been beaming with radiant joy because my partner who was arrested with me asked me why I was smiling. Should I tell him I had just met with God? Not knowing what to say, I simply told him that everything will be all right. He retorted, "What do you mean all right? We're going to be shot!" But the more I told him that everything will be all right, the angrier he became. He was shouting louder and louder until one of the soldiers said, "Quiet! You're not allowed to talk!"

That encounter with God was so deep that I knew a miracle had happened. I started to ask myself what this experience could mean. It could mean only one thing: God was telling me He had answered my prayer and will take me out of prison! While I was pondering on this, Commander Li was escorting the man who was arrested with the little boy. Another soldier opened the prison door, pushed the man in, and slammed the door. This man, perhaps in his fifties, committed no crime as serious as mine; he carried no weapon; he was even accompanied by a little boy. Was I too bold to think that God will release me from prison?

Interrogation
I was called in for interrogation. The officer led me to a room that was empty except for a stool at one corner (where I sat), and a desk and a chair at the other corner (where the officer sat). I wanted to sit closer to him, even face-to-face, and so I picked up the stool and walked towards him. He pulled out his gun and ordered me to return to my corner.

He asked me many questions. What was I doing? Did I belong to any secret organization? Why was I trying to enter Hong Kong? I replied, "Who in his right mind would want to go to Hong Kong? I only wanted to earn some money in Shenzhen because life had been hard for me." He said, "Let me ask you point-blank: If I give you a chance to go to Hong Kong, would you go?" I said, "If that's how you are going to phrase the question, yes, I'd accept your offer. But what's your point?"

He took down several pages of notes. When he was finished, he ordered me to put my finger print on the papers. I told him I would not do it unless I was allowed to read my own confession. But he refused to let me read it. So I said to him, "Look, I'm signing my own death warrant, right?" He said, "It's really up to you. Do you want to put your fingerprint on it or not?" I was in a no-win situation; either way I was going to be shot. So I put my fingerprint on it. Then he called in my friend and said to him, "Your friend has confessed everything. Here's the confession. Read it!" After my friend had read it, he turned pale. He said, "What? You confessed to all this?" Our doom was sealed. To this day I still do not know exactly what I had "confessed" to. That is why I am always cautious when I hear of so-called confessions allegedly made by church leaders in China.

My friend told me that I had confessed to membership in a secret organization, and that I had done this and done that. What I was alleged to have committed was enough to shoot me three times over. We could do nothing more except to wait for them to shoot us. I had already ratified the confession with my fingerprint. I started to wonder how God was going to answer my prayer and take me out of prison.

Night came and still we hadn't been given any food. At one point the officer came by, and I thought the hour had come. But he only wanted to lock us in a small room for the night. The next morning he took us back into the prison yard, and again we sat there on that same stone, waiting and waiting. In the afternoon, the officer called me in and said to me, "Listen. I'm not going to lock you up or shoot you. I'm going to take you to the railway station and put you on a train. Get out of here. Go back to Guangzhou and don't ever come back here without a permit." I asked myself, "Did something happen during the night? Why would he release me after going through the trouble of getting a confession from me? Is this a trick?"

The officer marched me off to the railway station and put me on a train. He marched me off to the railway station and put me on a train. When I arrived at Guangzhou, there were no soldiers waiting for me. I said to myself, "Hey! This is for real! I'm free! What happened?" To this day, I still do not know what happened. I lived under the Communists for seven years and I know they are not given to mercy or kindness. God must have done something to this commanding officer during the night. More than that, the officer didn't even record this incident in my police book. When you travel in China, you must carry a little book that keeps track of your movements. If you travel from Shanghai to Guangzhou, for instance, you would have to inform the police of your trip after your arrival. My little police book should have recorded that I was carrying a dangerous weapon, that I entered a forbidden zone in Shenzhen without a permit, that I was arrested, that I had confessed to crimes punishable by death or, at least, hard labour. The absence of any such statement was all the more amazing because the officer did keep a record of the incident in his own files in Shenzhen; yet he recorded nothing in my police book. If he had, I wouldn't be standing here before you today. I wouldn't be able to get out of China because I would be blacklisted as an anti-revolutionary. This was my first experience of a miracle.

God Brought Me Down to the Gutter
After returning to Shanghai, I ran into a problem: I had to keep my promise to serve God all the days of my life. I was really stuck. Had I promised too much? Maybe I should have promised something less—like attending church every Sunday for the rest of my life! Maybe the whole incident was just a coincidence. Maybe there was a human explanation for my release from prison. Even so, it wouldn't have been any less a miracle. From the heights of power and position, the Lord had to grind me down into the gutter.

Life in Shanghai was getting harder and harder for me. It was getting very cold. I had no idea where my parents were. I was running out of money. My friends deserted me because they were afraid that I might borrow from them. In no time at all, I lost all my friends except the son of a floor sweeper. In my former days of prosperity, I accepted him as my friend because he was a very nice guy. But my father was embarrassed that I associated with this uneducated working-class fellow. In the end, it was he who proved to be my only faithful friend. He allowed me to stay in the storage room so that I wouldn't have to sleep outside. I was getting poorer and poorer. I sold my watch and all my possessions to get some food. This helped me to survive another month or two.

God was dealing with me; He brought me from the heights of power and position right down to the gutter—literally the gutter because I had to wash up at the outdoor tap where people washed their cars. I could not wash my clothes because I had no change of clothes. My white shirt was turning yellow. I was experiencing the parable of the prodigal son. From the heights of power and position the Lord had to grind me down into the gutter.

My Next Encounter with God
When my worldly friends forsook me, I began to wonder what Christians were like. I took a long walk to a church without the faintest idea of what I might encounter there. God, in His amazing timing, arranged for my arrival to coincide with a church meeting. I knocked on the door, and who opens the door but the church elder whom I used to ridicule! He recognized me and said, "Eric! Please come in!" He was so warm and kind that I sensed something different about these Christians. I could not understand why they harboured no bitterness against me for the way I used to mock them. At first I enjoyed their kindness but soon I was getting a bit suspicious. Were they trying to convert me with ulterior motives? I later realized, however, that even if they had converted me, what could they get from a man who had no money or possessions?

As Christmas was approaching, a lady in the church said to me, "If you have nothing to do on Christmas day, please come to my place for tea with the church family." Her invitation aroused my suspicions. But being a person acquainted with hunger, I found her invitation almost irresistible. When Christmas day came, I was struggling for the whole afternoon trying to decide whether to go or not. It was not until it was getting dark that I decided to go over. I arrived so late that by that time all the guests were leaving. I felt embarrassed and said to them, "Sorry for being late. I'll leave right now." But this lady was entreating me to come in. Everyone had gone home except this lady and a brother, Henry Choy.

Henry was a Cantonese who had lived in Shanghai for a long time. He was a brilliant research chemist who formulated many things, including special ink and photographic chemicals, which China could not produce at that time. As soon as I started talking to Henry, I sensed something different about him; there was a certain spiritual quality about him. He began to talk about God and how God was real to him. But sensing that his motive was to convert me, I gradually switched off and stopped listening to him. He was talking and I was daydreaming. Suddenly a very powerful conviction came into my heart as I had never experienced before. In one flash, the Spirit of God was convicting me of my pride. More than that, the Lord reminded me of the promise I made to Him in the prison yard. So strong was the conviction that I realized it was a question of the truth. Once again I had met with God.

While Henry was still talking, I said, "Stop!" That took him by surprise and he asked if he had said something wrong. I said, "No! I want to accept God right now! What must I do?" He said, "Kneel down together with me. God is King of kings and Lord of lords, so you must come to Him in humility." When we knelt down, I asked him what to do next. He said, "We'll pray together. Pray from your heart." I asked him how to pray. He said, "Simply tell God what's in your heart. Confess your sins and thank Him for His mercy and saving love." When I started to pray, I felt the whole place shaking. Everything in the room became very bright as if somebody had switched on the floodlights. I was basically an unemotional person, yet I was wondering why everything was shaking all over the place. There I committed my life to the Lord. Something profound had happened to me; my whole life had been changed; God had come into my life. That was the beginning of my long walk with the Lord.

Part Three

The Beginning of My Walk with God
From that point on, I began to experience God through one miracle after another. My faith was being confirmed by these amazing miracles even in the way the Lord supplied my needs. One time I had a can of dried turnips that simply refused to go empty. No matter how much turnip I ate, the supply would not be exhausted. It was not until I got so sick of turnips that God finally stopped the supply. Later on I read a similar account in 1 Kings 17:15,16: "Her household ate for many days. The bowl of flour was not exhausted nor did the jar of oil become empty, according to the word of the Lord which He spoke through Elijah." This was only one of the many miracles I experienced. I also met some mighty men of God through whom God performed many great miracles. (But that is a long story in itself, and I will skip it for lack of time.) When people ask me how I know that God is real, I would tell them, "After having experienced so many miracles, how can I not know?"

Two and a half years had gone by. One day I asked God, "What would You like me to do? If You want me to stay in China, I'd be glad to stay, but please tell me what to do." I could not do very much. Every job in China was controlled by the government; you couldn't even sell newspapers without government permission. Twice I applied to leave China but they would not give me a visa.

My health was getting weaker and weaker because of malnutrition. One day I felt a cold sweat, and I knew it could be a sign of tuberculosis—the same disease that struck my mother so severely that one of her lungs had to be removed. I went for a free X ray and was told that I had a spot in one of my lungs. But I had no money to buy food, never mind medication. To get a second opinion, I went to another hospital for another X ray, but the results were the same. There they issued me a card with a picture of two lungs, on which was a mark that indicated the location of my spot. This card gave me the freedom to travel throughout China with very little government restriction. I could even visit my uncle in Beijing. Why? Because every time I was questioned, I would simply produce this card and they would let me go. Nobody wanted to come close to me because everyone thought I had tuberculosis. This little card was probably one reason that I was eventually allowed to leave China.

God Spoke to Me in an Audible Voice
I was praying in my room one day when I heard a voice say to me, "I will take you out of China." So clear and distinct was the voice that I turned around to see who spoke to me. I saw nobody in the room. This was the first time—and not the last time—that God spoke to me in an audible voice. (Later on I found this statement in Isa.30:21: "And you will hear a voice behind you saying, `This is the way. Walk in it.'") Immediately after receiving this message from God, I started to pack my bags. Some brothers and sisters thought I had received an exit visa, but I told them, "No, I haven't received anything yet, but the Lord Himself told me He will take me out of China!"

The Bible gives many similar accounts of God speaking to His people. In the book of Acts, for example, the Lord spoke to Paul on many occasions. But the standard of Christianity today has become so mediocre that these experiences are now considered unusual or even strange. The problem lies precisely in the area of commitment: Today we have multitudes of lukewarm, half-committed churchgoers, but we have very few totally committed Christians. The church in the Western world is wishy-washy. It costs nothing to become a Christian. The statement, "Take up your cross and follow Me," is totally meaningless to Christians in the West. This cheap diluted salvation will never help you to experience God or to know first-hand whether God is real. But when you are totally committed to the Lord, you will experience His miraculous power, especially when you find yourself in difficult or critical situations. That is why the Christians in China experience miracles all the time. Becoming a Christian in China takes total commitment because it will cost you your life. For me to become a Christian in China required my total commitment.

How God took Me out of China
Through one miracle after another, God opened the way for me to get out of China. But when the visa was finally granted, I had no money to buy a ticket to leave the country. And how God provided! Out of the blue, my uncle sent me a sum of money even though he had never sent me any money before. He didn't even know I was leaving the country. He received the money from my father but didn't want to accept it; so he sent it to me just when I was about to leave the country. God's timing is perfect!

But I ran into another problem. Though I had a visa to leave China, I could not enter Hong Kong. Because Hong Kong had too many refugees, the British authorities would not grant me entry unless I could prove I was going to another country. The problem dragged on for a long time, and my exit visa was about to expire. The Swiss consul phoned the British consul to request a visa on my behalf, but that too was refused.

I went before the Lord and told Him that according to the Bible, any door that He opens, no one can close. The next day I went to the British consulate. The person at the counter asked me what I wanted, and I told him I wanted a visa to enter Hong Kong. He asked me to wait. Then he came back with my papers and asked me how long I was planning to stay in Hong Kong. I asked for one month. Surprisingly, a visa was granted immediately.

When I crossed the bridge from Shenzhen to Hong Kong, the British officer asked me, "Do you speak English?" I said yes. He said, "Your visa is very unusual." I asked him what was so unusual about a one-month visa. He said, "No, you've got more than a month! They gave you unlimited stay in Hong Kong! I myself have never seen this kind of visa before!" I asked him what I was supposed to do, and he said, "Well, stay in Hong Kong as long as you like!" I ended up staying in Hong Kong for nine months, and was even able to get a Hong Kong CI. If this was not the Lord's arrangement, how would you explain this?

My Search for Employment
In Hong Kong I asked the Lord, "Now that I'm here, what would You like me to do?" The Lord gave me very clear indication that He wanted me to go to Europe. But how could I get the money to go to Europe without a job? In the 1950's, Hong Kong had tens or hundreds of thousands of refugees. How could I compete with them for a job? But God's way is incredible. One day I came across a job opening for someone to translate from English to Chinese, and from Chinese to English. I immediately applied for this high-paying government job. On the day of the interview, I saw that many other applicants were competing for the same job. I took the oral and written examinations, and later I received a letter offering me the job.

Then God put me to the next test. It turned out that it was a permanent job whereas I only wanted to work temporarily and then leave for Europe. I was struggling within myself deciding whether to tell the employment officer or not. I knew I would lose my job if I did. When I finally decided to be honest, I said to the Lord, "You have done so many miracles. If it is Your will for me to keep this job, I will certainly have it regardless of the conditions of employment." I wrote a letter thanking the employment officer for accepting me. But I also told him that as a Christian I had to be honest about my situation: I only intended to work one or two years before setting out for Europe. His reply came a few weeks later, "Thank you for your honesty but we are looking for a permanent staff member. Unless you reconsider and are prepared to work longer than one or two years, we regret that the job will be offered to someone else." I had no choice but to tell them to give the job to someone else.

After making that decision, I got a scolding from the Christians who were staying at the Lutheran Home: "That's foolish! Don't you know how many refugees are starving in Hong Kong?" One of those who scolded me had been an elder of our Shanghai church. He said, "The problem with young people is that they don't know the realities of life. You get a good job and you turn it down. Look at me, I'm over fifty years old. I've been working at the same gas company for over thirty years, and what do I get? Just a little bit more than what you were offered. Imagine, a young man gets this kind of money! You're out of your mind for turning it down!" So I got a good scolding from them. I didn't say anything to defend myself and simply committed the matter to the Lord.

So I was back to square one, still without a job and still uncertain as to where I will get the money to go to Europe. A missionary school offered me a job as an English teacher, but the pay was so low that even if I worked there for the rest of my life, I wouldn't be able to save enough to go to Europe. Eventually that job didn't materialize either. I was aware that Hong Kong had many ships, so I approached many ship captains to ask if they needed a deck hand or someone to clean the cabins. The captains were very nice to me but they could not hire me because their ships had sufficient crew. But God had a plan for me; He was only testing my faithfulness.

God's Miraculous Provision
Meanwhile, across the Pacific, on the west coast of the United States, in the state of Oregon, a lady was kneeling down in prayer. God said to her, "Go to Hong Kong because I have a job for you to do there." This lady was perhaps around fifty years old and belonged to a wealthy family. She had never been outside the United States. For her to go to Hong Kong was like going to the moon. She said to her husband, "When I was praying today, the Lord told me to go to Hong Kong." Her husband, also a very fine Christian, said to her, "If the Lord wants you to go to Hong Kong, go!" Then she went before the Lord and asked Him what she must do in Hong Kong. The Lord simply said, "Go to Hong Kong and there I will tell you what to do." (One of the principles of the Christian life is that God takes us only one step at a time.) So she journeyed to Hong Kong and stayed at the Lutheran Home where I was staying. Everyday for several weeks, she kept on asking the Lord what He wanted her to do.

During my quiet time one day, there was a knock on the door. I opened the door and there was this lady standing there. She said to me, "The Lord has been speaking to me, and has instructed me to buy you a ticket to Europe." I expressed my appreciation but I asked her to pray more about the matter. She quickly answered, "No! The Lord has made it very clear to me!" A few days later she returned and asked me if I had booked the ticket or not. When I said no, she said, "Book the ticket. I am now very definite as to why God sent me here. He has given me a job to fulfill, and that is to send you to Europe. Book the ticket without delay!" It was a Friday.

From my daily reading of the newspapers, I knew the schedules, the routes and the fares for all the ships leaving Hong Kong for Europe. I also knew that the cheapest fare to Europe was for a particular ship that was to leave on the following Tuesday. After the American lady had kindly given me a cheque for the correct amount, I went straightaway to the shipping agent to book a place on that ship. But when I got there he informed me that the fare had increased by 20% due to the fighting at the Suez Canal (1957). The Canal had been closed because of the fighting, and no one knew whether it would be usable (navigable) in one month's time when the ship would arrive in the area. If it is not, then the ship would have to take the much longer route around South Africa and the Cape of Good Hope. I asked the shipping agent whether the extra 20% would be refunded if the ship was eventually able to go through the Canal. He was unsure, but said a refund was unlikely because of the higher cost of insurance for a ship going through the Suez immediately after the war (because of the danger posed by sunken ships and floating mines). In any case, a clause was attached to the ticket stating that, in view of the situation at Suez, the shipping company retained the right to keep all or part of the additional 20%, and that any decision on this would be made solely at the company's own discretion. It was already Friday, and the ship was going to leave on Tuesday. How was I going to get the extra money?

When I returned to the Lutheran Home, the lady asked me if I had bought the ticket. When I told her about the 20% increase, she exclaimed, "Praise the Lord! Everything's just fine! While you were away, I got a cable from my husband informing me that he had just sent more money. He didn't know why, but the Lord instructed him to send you this extra money. He felt you were going to need it. Here's the money. Go back and get your ticket!" Praise God for His people who know how to walk with Him! I came all the way from China, and God sent somebody all the way from the United States to meet me in Hong Kong to send me to Europe! Can you understand this? Do you think this is mere coincidence? God is so real and amazing. His timing is impeccable. I left Hong Kong on Tuesday, and the lady returned to the United States on Wednesday.

My Voyage to Europe
The ship was a freighter that carried only twelve passengers. I shared a cabin with a person from Hong Kong who was travelling to Singapore. As the ship was getting closer and closer to his destination, and as the Singapore skyline was looming larger and larger, he knelt down with me and committed his life to the Lord! For the rest of my journey to Europe, I had the whole cabin to myself so that I could get some badly-needed rest and recuperate from my weakness.

On the freighter everybody travelled first-class. With the good, nutritious food that I ate on the ship, and with the peaceful rest that I enjoyed, the Lord was restoring my health. A labour strike in Burma kept the ship there for a month, waiting for the cargo that it was to transport to Europe. As a result, I spent two whole months on the ship for the price of a regular journey. My health was restored by the time I reached Europe. The Lord really knows our needs.

One time during the voyage, the passengers were discussing among themselves whether the shipping company will refund the 20%. They asked for my opinion, and I said I was absolutely sure that I will be refunded the money. They were puzzled by my answer and asked me how I knew. I could not explain it to them, but I knew from the Lord that I will get back the 20%.

When we arrived in Europe, we got off the ship and went straightaway to the shipping company's office. The agent promptly gave me a cheque for the 20%. The next person was expecting a cheque as well, but the shipping agent refused to give him anything because, as stated in the contract, the refund was entirely at the discretion of the company. My ten fellow passengers spent a whole day at the office trying in vain to get back their 20%.

Something was very curious about the 20% refund. I paid the fare in Hong Kong in U.S. dollars, and received the refund in Yugoslavia. But my refund was neither in Hong Kong dollars, nor in American dollars, nor in Yugoslav dinars, but in British pounds! All this was planned by God, as I would later find out.

My Arrival in Europe
After arriving in Europe, I immediately visited my mother in Switzerland; she had just had a near-fatal operation. I waited on the Lord to see what I should do in Europe. One day I went to Zurich to visit the president of the Bank of Switzerland, a gentleman whose signature could be found on the back of every Swiss bank note. (Somebody in Hong Kong gave me his name and address.) It turned out that he was a very fine Christian; his whole family were fine and humble people. When I was boarding a train to leave Zurich, his wife handed me a magazine so that I would have something to read on the train. I accepted the magazine and thanked her. On the back cover was an advertisement of a Bible college. I said to myself, maybe I should apply to this Bible college.

I did not know what the Lord wanted me to do. At first I wanted to study engineering, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt it would be better to study at a Bible college before considering anything else. I cut out the advertisement and applied to this Bible college in Scotland. It was not until I was accepted by the college that I knew why I had received the refund cheque in British pounds. God had already foreseen that I will be going to this Bible college in the United Kingdom. When I paid the school fees with the cheque, it was exactly enough to cover my first term. God had worked out everything in advance.

God Provided for All My Needs
God continued to work in my life in amazing ways. When I arrived in England, I knew nobody. Because I was not allowed to work, I had to look to God to supply my needs for every school term. God tests our faith from time to time. Towards my final term in the Bible college, I had no money to pay the school fees. I counted the money in my pocket, and realized I would be in debt if I stayed another two or three days. What was I to do? The Bible says we must owe no man anything except love (Rom.13:8). I didn't want to owe anything to anyone, not even to a Bible college.

I told the registrar that I was going to leave the college because I could not pay the fees. He put his arm around my shoulder and said, "Eric, we don't consider you to be in debt—at least not until the last day of the term." Then I said, "Mr. Williamson, if God does not provide for me at the start of the term, how would I know that He will provide for me at the end of the term? I could be in debt by then, and that would be against the biblical principle." He pleaded with me to stay, but I told him I had to go. The diploma was unimportant to me.

I returned to my room upstairs and thanked the Lord for giving me a chance to study at the Bible college. If it was His will for me to go, I would gladly accept His will. I opened my writing pad to write some farewell letters, and what did I see inside? A bundle of brand new one-pound notes! I thought I was daydreaming. I counted the bank notes, and sure enough it was exactly enough to cover the expenses for the final term! I had never experienced anything like this before. I went back downstairs to Mr. Williamson who must have expected a farewell handshake from me. You could imagine his surprise when I handed him the bank notes instead. After I explained everything to him, he said to me, "Eric, in this Bible college we have seen some really amazing things happening through your life."

Recent Events
It's about time to close. I have to skip over the many years that have elapsed since my student days, and the many, many things that the Lord has done during that period. I close with one last incident that took place only recently. This will demonstrate how the living God guides His people when they walk with Him.

Before going to that example, perhaps I quickly mention something else that also happened recently. As I was driving to town one day, I stopped at a crossroad near my home in Canada. In Canada, whenever a car reaches a stop sign, it must come to a complete halt. Whoever stops first has the right to cross first. After coming to a complete stop, I was about to accelerate when the voice of the Lord clearly spoke to me, "Don't move!" So I stopped. Sure enough a bus streaked across the intersection in clear violation of the law. The driver not only ignored the stop sign, he also failed to stop for the people who were waiting at the bus stop. Had I accelerated, the bus would have smashed right into my car. This was not the only time the Lord saved my life.

I come now to the final example. For one reason or another, in recent months, several brothers and sisters in our churches have been in a situation in which a parent has either died or was hospitalized in very critical condition. One of these brethren was a full-time sister co-worker in our Toronto church. Her father had diabetes which led to further complications with his kidneys, forcing him to undergo regular dialysis. One day this sister gave me an urgent phone call: "I just received a long-distance call telling me that my father's condition is worsening. But nobody, not even the doctors, know whether the situation is life-threatening or not. Should I go home?" I told her to look to the Lord herself. After waiting before the Lord, I received an indication from the Lord that her father will die very soon. I said to her, "Return to Malaysia as soon as possible so that you can witness to your father before he passes away." She immediately took the warning and caught the first available flight to Malaysia. When she arrived, her father seemed to be in good physical condition. She had a chance to witness to him for two or three days. Being a nurse herself, she knew something about his medical problems. Seeing that his condition was quite good, she went out to visit some Montreal brothers and sisters who had returned to Kuala Lumpur. But while she was out, her father died. So sudden was his death that she was caught by surprise. But the Lord had already granted me to know that her father will not survive for long; that was why I told her to go immediately.

A similar incident occurred only shortly afterwards. A brother in Canada received an urgent call from Hong Kong informing him that his father was dying from a heart attack. This brother quickly called me to ask me what he should do. The Lord immediately gave me a message: his father will not die. I conveyed the Lord's message to this brother but he gave further explanation, saying that the doctors regarded his father's condition as extremely critical. But I said to him, "The Lord said your father will not die!" True to the Lord's words, the father is still alive to this day. [Oasis note: This testimony was given in 1985. The father is still alive in Hong Kong as of this date of Oasis publication, March 1992.]

When you walk with the Lord, He reveals His secrets to you (cf. e.g. Amos 3:7; Dan.2:19,22,28, 30). In both these cases, the message that I received from the Lord was open to examination. The outcome would immediately verify whether I was a false prophet or not. Unlike so many fortune tellers, I did not resort to ambiguous predictions that can be fulfilled irrespective of the outcome. On the contrary, the word of the Lord spoken to me and through me was so clear and unambiguous that it could be tested and verified.

Conclusion
God's greatness is simply amazing. I have shared only a small fraction of His amazing deeds, but even these few examples can hardly be accounted for by any human explanation. I could have given many more examples but our time has just run out.

Now you can see that my becoming a Christian is inseparable from my serving the Lord. I had no choice but to serve Him because of what I had promised Him. To be honest, there were times when I tried to run away, but God would always remind me of my promise. Through all these years, He has kept me on the right track so that I have been able to serve Him by His grace.

Some of you may ask, "Why is God so real to you? Why don't we experience the same things?" The secret is nothing more than this: If you are totally committed to Him, and if you are willing to take up your cross and follow Him, you will experience remarkable things from God just as I have.

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